Sunday, October 17, 2004
Day 30
I'm up to day 30 of The Purpose Driven Life (http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/). I can't believe it. I've read 233 pages - and I hate reading. I mean I really dislike reading. So much so that I've read less than 1/2 a dozen books in my life. 1: The Bible (that took several years), 2: Island Of The Blue Dolphins (and I'm not sure I ever made it to the end), 3: Screwtape Letters, and maybe one or two more, but no more than that. Do you understand?! I'm saying that I've read less books in my lifetime than Tracy reads in a week.
Purpose Driven Life has been a challenge at times, especially since I'm preoccupied with work (and likely will be for another few months). It's been an eyeopening experience though. I've noticed that at some times of my life, I genuinely wanted to do the right things that are called for. And I recall that I always feel better doing right than doing wrong. So, why not always do right? Easy. Selfishness.
Every failed thing in my life can be traced back to my being selfish. I've known that for about a year now, but the book gives me some solid ideas for solving this dilema. For one - don't dwell on failures. O.K. you screwed up. You're just going to keep screwing up until stop dwelling on it and learn something from it. You'll also have to apply what you've learned the next time the situation comes around. Makes sense now, but it took almost 40 years to learn.
So, that's my goal for now. Move forward. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Apply what I've learned and move forward. Easy to say, eh?
[this next part may sound a bit wierd, but I don't backspace - remember?]
I'm also going to try to continue being "fully concious". Sometimes it's hard to pay so much attention to everything around, but on occasion I do get a glimpse of things as they really are - and it's neat to see the other "fully concious" people walking around with me. We meet and give a knowing nod or smile and continue observing all the other people at the store, in the coffee shop, on the road.
Purpose Driven Life has been a challenge at times, especially since I'm preoccupied with work (and likely will be for another few months). It's been an eyeopening experience though. I've noticed that at some times of my life, I genuinely wanted to do the right things that are called for. And I recall that I always feel better doing right than doing wrong. So, why not always do right? Easy. Selfishness.
Every failed thing in my life can be traced back to my being selfish. I've known that for about a year now, but the book gives me some solid ideas for solving this dilema. For one - don't dwell on failures. O.K. you screwed up. You're just going to keep screwing up until stop dwelling on it and learn something from it. You'll also have to apply what you've learned the next time the situation comes around. Makes sense now, but it took almost 40 years to learn.
So, that's my goal for now. Move forward. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Apply what I've learned and move forward. Easy to say, eh?
[this next part may sound a bit wierd, but I don't backspace - remember?]
I'm also going to try to continue being "fully concious". Sometimes it's hard to pay so much attention to everything around, but on occasion I do get a glimpse of things as they really are - and it's neat to see the other "fully concious" people walking around with me. We meet and give a knowing nod or smile and continue observing all the other people at the store, in the coffee shop, on the road.
