Monday, October 04, 2004
Soylent Grey
Well, it had to happen. Living in California (see: Fruits & Nuts, land of) for almost all of my 38 years, I eventually had to go out and try something new and wierd. After weeks of making the same chili the same way, I decided to try my hand at chili con tofu. I'd been making it with ground turkey for about a year now, but something just moved my hand this weekend while I was walking around the grocery store.
Fresh corn, an Anaheim pepper, tomatoes (canned) - the usual shopping fare. Then, as I wandered by the "Lesbians & Vegans Only" section, my hand reached out and grabbed a package of firm tofu. I'd also been drinking soy milk for about 2 years now, so it shouldn't be such a reach - right?
I took everything home and pulled the curtains tight while I turned on my Easy-Bake oven. Knowing nothing of the "how" in how to make tofu, I decided that it should bake until the insides were a healthy 145 degrees. After that, I attempted to "brown the meat" as the recipe calls for.
It didn't crumble the way I thought a bean curd should, but I continued on my journey of new foods. Finally, it appears to look like my ground turkey looked when it was browned, except it wasn't brown - it was sort of a greyish beige. Fine, I'll just add the tomatoes and chilis and peppers and whatever else I could to give it some color. But first, I rescued a small bit to taste.
Well, as I quickly learned "taste" is a relative statement. It was more accurate to say that I put a small amount of warm tofu mass into my mouth and chewed. Tasteless, colorless, odorless - Tofu would be the perfect poison if it were indeed poison.
I started wondering how people could ever crave tofu. Was it like beer? It's not the flavor - it's the results. Anywho, I ended up adding my whole Anaheim pepper even though I was sure it would be too hot. Simmered the whole thing for about an hour while it attempted to reduce.
I didn't even try it before portioning all of it out into individual lunches. So, today at noon, I tried my new creation for the very first time, and I declare it...absolutely tasteless. When I get off work, I'm going to stop by the grocery store and look around for some more additions.
Fresh corn, an Anaheim pepper, tomatoes (canned) - the usual shopping fare. Then, as I wandered by the "Lesbians & Vegans Only" section, my hand reached out and grabbed a package of firm tofu. I'd also been drinking soy milk for about 2 years now, so it shouldn't be such a reach - right?
I took everything home and pulled the curtains tight while I turned on my Easy-Bake oven. Knowing nothing of the "how" in how to make tofu, I decided that it should bake until the insides were a healthy 145 degrees. After that, I attempted to "brown the meat" as the recipe calls for.
It didn't crumble the way I thought a bean curd should, but I continued on my journey of new foods. Finally, it appears to look like my ground turkey looked when it was browned, except it wasn't brown - it was sort of a greyish beige. Fine, I'll just add the tomatoes and chilis and peppers and whatever else I could to give it some color. But first, I rescued a small bit to taste.
Well, as I quickly learned "taste" is a relative statement. It was more accurate to say that I put a small amount of warm tofu mass into my mouth and chewed. Tasteless, colorless, odorless - Tofu would be the perfect poison if it were indeed poison.
I started wondering how people could ever crave tofu. Was it like beer? It's not the flavor - it's the results. Anywho, I ended up adding my whole Anaheim pepper even though I was sure it would be too hot. Simmered the whole thing for about an hour while it attempted to reduce.
I didn't even try it before portioning all of it out into individual lunches. So, today at noon, I tried my new creation for the very first time, and I declare it...absolutely tasteless. When I get off work, I'm going to stop by the grocery store and look around for some more additions.
