Plan "B"

*** The names have been changed to protect the innocent ***

Brian's a person I work with who I have a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for. He's been instrumental in teaching me many many things about the inner workings of this company as well as a technical mentor for the past 7 years. By all accounts, he's a scientist's scientist. Methodical, critical, skeptical - qualities that make a good scientist.

He's basically way up there on a giant ivory pillar as far as I'm concerned. We also get along quite well considering we're VERY different types of people. We play bocce indoors when it rains and sprint like children for free donuts when the donut girl brings them by. Given his level of cogno-intellect, I was quite surprised to see him standing in my doorway this morning holding a donut. Well, that wasn't the oddity by itself. It was, "dumpster donuts!" which he stated proudly. I just had to start laughing, but the laughter quickly gave way to a flashback to a Sienfeld episode. I had to see for myself. I ran, quick as a bunny, to where she used to sit, and sure enough there was a dumpster sitting outside her door. And sure enough, there was a large pink box sitting on top amongst the festooness of old books, binders and assorted other office basura.


http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGymnast.html

“So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen, you see an eclair in the receptacle, and you think to yourself, ‘What the hell, I’ll just eat some trash.’”
“No no no no no. It was not trash.”
“Was it in the trash?”
“Yes.”
“Then it was trash.”
“It wasn’t down in. It was sort of on top.”
“But it was in the cylinder.”
“Above the rim.”
“Adjacent to refuse is… refuse.”
“It was on a magazine. And it still had the doily on.”
“Was it eaten?”
“One little bite.”
“Well, that’s garbage.”
“But I know who took the bite. It was her aunt.”
“Well, you, my friend, have crossed the line that divides man and bum. You are now a bum.”
- Jerry and George, in “The Gymnast”