Plan "B"

*** Disclaimer: These are my thoughts and feelings about a very sensitive subject. They may or not be your thoughts or feelings. If you find yourself becoming uncomfortable while reading this, I ask for you to respect my views as I respect yours. I'm not pushing my agenda on you, nor do I expect you to push your agenda on me. I don't tell people what they're doing is right or wrong unless they ask. This "policy of peace" has allowed me to develop some interesting and diverse relationships from the homeless to avid drug users to homosexuals. My brother is one of the latter.

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination."

Clearly, I have a lot of thinking to do. There are about a dozen or so references in the Bible to homosexuality. But there are many more passages which instruct us to live at peace with one another as much as it is possible. Then, there are just as many - or perhaps more - passages which tell me not to even speak to an unrepentant sinner. I've tried to live in peace with others around me who do not share my beliefs, and for the most part, it's worked out.

But now, the passive act of tolerance is being challenged. I've been invited to condone my brothers lifestyle by attending his wedding. I know that what I've already said is going to spark at least one phone call from family members. So be it. My blog is where I express who I am. Other peoples web sites are where they can express who they are. "Don't like the news? Go make some of your own."

I can already tell that this isn't going to be single entry subject. I'm going to have to take some inventory, research my heart, and pray. I may even use the [gasp] backspace and/or delete keys. It's going to take some time for me to develop my thoughts and feelings despite the very real risk that my invitation may already have been revoked.

To attend, or not to attend. That is the question. It's a simple one really. It's an event that is being hosted and attended by people who do not share my belief system. It happens all the time, and I never have a problem with it. But it's the purpose of this event that causes me thought. The very deepest heart of me feels that a wedding is a symbol of a most sacred bond that I hold near and dear...

... and then instantly, any argument I could ever create, any statement of facts that would serve to make any sort of case to argue this is immediately nullified. You see, I'm divorced. Just as these two men who share feelings toward each other wish to defy any Bible commandment or scripture verse against their actions (although the Bible doesn't pertain to them as they are unsaved), I have also defied God which is 94 times worse for a believer. I sat in a courtroom a few years ago, and in my silence I basically said, "Yes your honor, I think that God is a big fat liar, and I really don't want to stay joined to this woman that you have found for me."

Well, that wasn't a direction I thought this would go. My brother, who is not saved by his own admission, wishes to perform an act that I find to be wrong. On the other hand, I have already performed an act that I find to be wrong. I'm a walking contradiction of my own belief system. It's one thing to do something that you feel is right but is really wrong. It's another thing entirely to do something that you know is wrong - but do it anyway. Which of us is more wicked?

I don't suppose there's a path to reverse my decision though. ( I was going to write "even if I wanted to", but clearly, when I have my head on straight, I always wish to do what's right). The ball is squarely in the court of my ex, and I've never gotten any indication that she would ever consider reconciliation.

Your thoughts?

// to be continued //