Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Thanksgiving
I'm thankful for tonight. Tonight at church, pastor opened the floor to hear what everyone in the congregation was thankful for. I thought we were never going to stop. Well, to be completely transparent - I thought they were never going to stop. Several times I had tried to raise my hand and speak, but I just couldn't. My shell is just too thick sometimes.
I almost didn't even go. I had a lousy day at work for it being the last day before a four day weekend. Most other people took off early and very few even hung around until 3pm. I, on the otherhand, was handed a truckload of work to do before I could leave. I got home late, and tried to call a friend who's flying into the area tomorrow, but alas - I can't dial long distance from my home phone. Doi. I was tired and really wanted to just relax and not think. I drifted really close to not going at all, but I missed a week of church while on vacation and I didn't want to miss any more.
Actually, it's more complete to say that after I missed a week of church, pastor mailed me a hand written letter saying that he missed me and hoped to see me soon. And in a nutshell, that's what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for the wrong turn I took about 4 years ago. I set out one day to find a nice big church where I could attend and basically disappear. I was going to be the polite stranger who sat in back and nobody knew. I was hopeful that this would count on my "church attendance scorecard" - but that's not how it works now, is it. For whatever reasons, I took a left away from where I was going that day four years ago. Then, I took another left - again for no reason. I ended up driving by a church which wasn't the one I had set out for at all, but something told me to go on Sunday anyway.
As hard as I tried (and I've tried) I couldn't just be the quiet stranger that nobody knew. Everyone greeted me with a geniune smile and a heart for God. They wanted to know my name - and they didn't have "greeter" pins on their lapels. As I look back, it was exactly what I needed at the time - accountability.
Anyway, back to tonight. There wasn't a dry eye in the house tonight. People were expressing their thankfulness in such wonderful and heartfelt ways - old and young alike. It renewed my spirit and welled my eyes with tears - and I was going to skip it because I thought I was too tired. Ha!
Sometimes, I'm able to remember back to when I was thankful that I was simply inside, out of the elements. I used to stare at the walls and the ceiling, and with complete satisfaction announce, "I'm inside!", and smile.
I almost didn't even go. I had a lousy day at work for it being the last day before a four day weekend. Most other people took off early and very few even hung around until 3pm. I, on the otherhand, was handed a truckload of work to do before I could leave. I got home late, and tried to call a friend who's flying into the area tomorrow, but alas - I can't dial long distance from my home phone. Doi. I was tired and really wanted to just relax and not think. I drifted really close to not going at all, but I missed a week of church while on vacation and I didn't want to miss any more.
Actually, it's more complete to say that after I missed a week of church, pastor mailed me a hand written letter saying that he missed me and hoped to see me soon. And in a nutshell, that's what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for the wrong turn I took about 4 years ago. I set out one day to find a nice big church where I could attend and basically disappear. I was going to be the polite stranger who sat in back and nobody knew. I was hopeful that this would count on my "church attendance scorecard" - but that's not how it works now, is it. For whatever reasons, I took a left away from where I was going that day four years ago. Then, I took another left - again for no reason. I ended up driving by a church which wasn't the one I had set out for at all, but something told me to go on Sunday anyway.
As hard as I tried (and I've tried) I couldn't just be the quiet stranger that nobody knew. Everyone greeted me with a geniune smile and a heart for God. They wanted to know my name - and they didn't have "greeter" pins on their lapels. As I look back, it was exactly what I needed at the time - accountability.
Anyway, back to tonight. There wasn't a dry eye in the house tonight. People were expressing their thankfulness in such wonderful and heartfelt ways - old and young alike. It renewed my spirit and welled my eyes with tears - and I was going to skip it because I thought I was too tired. Ha!
Sometimes, I'm able to remember back to when I was thankful that I was simply inside, out of the elements. I used to stare at the walls and the ceiling, and with complete satisfaction announce, "I'm inside!", and smile.
