Plan "B"

I was talking to a friend on the phone for the past hour. This dawned on me...

Prior to Monday (past 4 years) - It was all my fault, and I needed to do something about it.

Monday Night - It was all my fault, and there was nothing I could do about it.

After Wednesday Night - I realize that it was not all my fault, but there's still nothing I can do about it.

I still desire to do the right thing, but I think the right thing is 180 degrees from what I thought it was a week ago. God must be doing something in perfect timing. I can't trace His hand, but I trust His heart. It will take time for me to do my 180 turn that I need to. I took many months to get here and many more months to become the man she thought she married. On second thought, I'm going to keep that part. I'm the man God wants me to be! It's unfortunate that she won't be able to know that man.

I know with time, God will heal my heart over what she's done. I don't know if God will ever change my heart about how I feel about what she is continuing to live in. I pray for her sake that He does. Right now though, He would have to come down personally and rip some pages out of my Bible.