Thursday, January 10, 2008
Exodus 4:10 & The Cheese Slicer
Or "Who moved my cheese slicer?"
"And Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue." -- Ex. 4:10
I just told pastor that I would be willing to be the narrator for the Easter program. Gulp! Thankfully, it's months away so I can memorize my 10 lines. O.K. 10 very long lines. What's so hard about memorizing 10 lines? Well, that takes me to my cheese slicer story.
I had always accepted the fact that I sometimes forget my keys or miss freeway offramps. I forget people's names and birthdays and addresses and more things than I can remember. "Small stuff", I always thought. "Merely a lack of concentration or focus", right? I was going about my day a few years ago, happily running some errands after work. I stopped by the mall to buy a cheese slicer because I thought that slicing blocks of cheese myself would somehow be more frugal than buying sliced cheese - not to mention saving the waste of all those individual wrappers. These are the things that single men think about. I walked into [insert name of store here] and headed to the cheese slicer display. There were many styles and prices to choose from, and I wondered why America needed so many choices for slicing cheese until I recalled that there are just as many kinds of cheese:
After a while of comparing features (as many features as a cheese slicer can have), I settled on my selection. I paid the nice cashier and merrily went home to enjoy my new purchase.
I freed the poor cheese slicer from its evil twist tie and cardboard fortified prison and washed it. I opened the utility drawer to introduce it to its new kin, and much to my surprise...Yes, not only did I already own a cheese slicer, but as soon as I saw it, I remembered that I had gone out THE DAY BEFORE and done the EXACT SAME THING! I now had two cheese slicers purchased without knowledge of each other within a 24 hour period! Now, that was cause for concern.
So, I called the doctor to see if I had brain damage. Apparently regular doctors don't handle things like this, so he sent me to a specialist to see if something in my brain wasn't working properly. The other doctor sat in a dimly lit room that oozed, "I'm a head shrinker and I'm here to listen to why you don't get along with your father." Weird. We chatted for a while, but I never really got a good answer for why my brain doesn't work right.
We scheduled a second appointment before which I was to fill out a questionnaire and return it to the nice nurse. I filled it out and returned it (I think :-). The second appointment came and again I sat in his dark office. We chatted some more about things that don't matter, and finally, the prognosis came.
This was going to be the answer to my broken brain issue. Was he going to give me a magic pill that would make me remember things? Was he going to change my diet? Was he going to suggest a brain scan (cool)? He sat back in his leather chair and uttered two words which ended the appointment. "You're quirky."
That's it? I'm quirky?
That's not the answer I was hoping for. So, I'm quirky. Fast forward to now. When I was asked to consider being the narrator for the Easter program, I immediately thought of Moses. I know I can't do this under my own strength, but with God, all things are possible, right? I'll give it all I can, but by faith, God will take me all the way.
Hebrews 11 - "By faith..."
"And Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue." -- Ex. 4:10
I just told pastor that I would be willing to be the narrator for the Easter program. Gulp! Thankfully, it's months away so I can memorize my 10 lines. O.K. 10 very long lines. What's so hard about memorizing 10 lines? Well, that takes me to my cheese slicer story.
I had always accepted the fact that I sometimes forget my keys or miss freeway offramps. I forget people's names and birthdays and addresses and more things than I can remember. "Small stuff", I always thought. "Merely a lack of concentration or focus", right? I was going about my day a few years ago, happily running some errands after work. I stopped by the mall to buy a cheese slicer because I thought that slicing blocks of cheese myself would somehow be more frugal than buying sliced cheese - not to mention saving the waste of all those individual wrappers. These are the things that single men think about. I walked into [insert name of store here] and headed to the cheese slicer display. There were many styles and prices to choose from, and I wondered why America needed so many choices for slicing cheese until I recalled that there are just as many kinds of cheese:
Meg Ryan: Did you know there are 452 official kinds of cheese in this country? Isn't that amazing? To find 452 ways to classify what is essentially a bacterial process? Don't you think that's amazing? Kevin Kline: You would prefer one kind of cheese? One cheeseburger to put it on? One restaurant to eat it in? Meg Ryan: I'm saying I 'like' the cheese!
After a while of comparing features (as many features as a cheese slicer can have), I settled on my selection. I paid the nice cashier and merrily went home to enjoy my new purchase.
I freed the poor cheese slicer from its evil twist tie and cardboard fortified prison and washed it. I opened the utility drawer to introduce it to its new kin, and much to my surprise...Yes, not only did I already own a cheese slicer, but as soon as I saw it, I remembered that I had gone out THE DAY BEFORE and done the EXACT SAME THING! I now had two cheese slicers purchased without knowledge of each other within a 24 hour period! Now, that was cause for concern.
So, I called the doctor to see if I had brain damage. Apparently regular doctors don't handle things like this, so he sent me to a specialist to see if something in my brain wasn't working properly. The other doctor sat in a dimly lit room that oozed, "I'm a head shrinker and I'm here to listen to why you don't get along with your father." Weird. We chatted for a while, but I never really got a good answer for why my brain doesn't work right.
We scheduled a second appointment before which I was to fill out a questionnaire and return it to the nice nurse. I filled it out and returned it (I think :-). The second appointment came and again I sat in his dark office. We chatted some more about things that don't matter, and finally, the prognosis came.
This was going to be the answer to my broken brain issue. Was he going to give me a magic pill that would make me remember things? Was he going to change my diet? Was he going to suggest a brain scan (cool)? He sat back in his leather chair and uttered two words which ended the appointment. "You're quirky."
That's it? I'm quirky?
That's not the answer I was hoping for. So, I'm quirky. Fast forward to now. When I was asked to consider being the narrator for the Easter program, I immediately thought of Moses. I know I can't do this under my own strength, but with God, all things are possible, right? I'll give it all I can, but by faith, God will take me all the way.
Hebrews 11 - "By faith..."
