Plan "B"

I'm back - at least for a bit. I'm still on my project, and it's crunch time, but everything's building up and I must BLOG! Today, I had a very easy choice to make. I decided that the 50 mile round trip was a bit too much for this church I've been attending for about a year and a half. I decided to try a local church sorta willy nilly. Location (close), size (pretty large) and denomination (non-denom-Christian). So, this morning, I prepared for two services 8:45 at this new one and 11:00 at my existing one.

I promise not to rant about this church I attended for the first time, but here's a short synopsis. I never thought I'd ever hear drums playing to "It Is Well With My Soul". When teaching on forgiveness, it's bad form to mention that nothing tastes sweeter than revenge, and mean it.

It confirmed for me two things. One, I really love the church I'm at already despite the commute (more on that later). And two, I must be different from others because when I take revenge (example?) I feel HORRIBLE.

Example: Someone cuts me off on the freeway, and (this is important) I take it personally. Time was when I'd go out of my way to give them an eye for my eye. Taking vengance into my own hands to teach them a lesson was what I wanted in the heat of the moment. Regardless of the outcome though, as soon as I was done - I felt horrible. I feel as if I've seized another opportunity to show the other person how ugly I can be. I feel like I've overstepped my authority and passed vigilante judgement on another sinner. We're all plank-eyes. Just because my plank is of a different type of wood than yours, doesn't make me better. I've calmed down alot in the past year, but I've got so much farther to go. With strength and patience, I'll make it.

The church I'm at now:
Now that I've beared my ugly icky faults, I'd like to praise my church for who they are. Compliments in chronological order - I can't show up without several smiling faces greeting me. They don't know me - heck, they don't know the first thing about me, but they all greet me just the same. The music. Ah, the music. We don't have a rock & roll band. No drum sets, no acoustical guitars, just a piano, an organ and a choir. This morning, as with recent Sundays past, it's been a struggle to hear the choir over the congregation. We sing the old time hymns with all the passion due them. It's wonderfully deafening. I'm sure they can hear us in Heaven. The message: strong, firm, unyielding, from the Book, from the heart, from the mouth of God. It's been real meat & potatoes lately. Or maybe I'm just listening for a change. Anyway, it's been a real joy. The first time I've felt this way in - well, years. Perhaps 5 or more.

I recently picked up "Purpose Driven Life". I'm on day 6, and there hasn't been a day that I can't take something to heart and think about. The next 35 days will expose my soft underbelly, but I'm willing to go through it. It's for the best.

O.K. I've got to get my program done and shipped to the customer tonight. Good night - God Bless.

O.K. real quick - great weekend. Got lots of work done. Sunday's service nearly brought me to tears. It was wonderful and convicting and instructional and personal. Gotta run.

P.S. I may have to make another trip to NY.

I've been under the knife lately to get one major project done by the end of the month, and another ongoing project to the next phase by tomorrow. So, needless to say - I haven't been (and won't be) very sociable for a while.

Busy, busy, busy and all of the sudden there go my fingernails. :-( I was doing so well, too. Well, let's hope this recent lapse in discipline is just a temporary thing.

Note to all: Don't let me update this BLOG until my projects are done. See you next month.

# posted by Johnny @ 8/16/2004 12:42:00 PM 0 comments links to this post

Maybe it's the mode I'm in right now. Maybe it's because yesterday was Friday the 13th and Mars is in retrograde. Maybe a million things, but I heard this song today, and listened to the words for the first time. Now, that's love.

Everything - by: Alanis Morissette

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby
And you've never met anyone
As negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest [wo]man you've ever met
I'm the kindest soul with whom you've connected
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
As positive as I am sometimes

You see everything
You see every part
You see all my light
And you love my dark
You dig everything
Of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive agressiveness can be devistating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you've never met anyone who's closed down as I am sometimes

You see everything
You see every part
You see all my light
And you love my dark
You dig everything
Of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I am the funniest [wo]man that you've ever known
I am the dullest [wo]man that you've ever known
I am the most gorgeous [wo]man that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything
You see every part
You see all my light
And you love my dark
You dig everything
Of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
And you're still here
And you're still here

I've got an itchin' to partake in this year's NaNoWriMo. Signup begins October 1st, but we don't start until November 1st. I don't know exactly how it will go, but maybe it will be healthy/creative/rewarding. Or not - who cares.

Next year, I'll like be on a cruise during NaNoWriMo. So, if I'm going to do it, it'll have to be this year.

So basically, Brad* came into my office yesterday and asked me for my opinion on how to attack this program he was struggling with. First of all, I'm honored that he would consult me. Although it's entirely possible that I was the last in a long line of people he already asked, I was still honored. We brainstormed for a few minutes while I got a better sense of what he was trying to accomplish with the tools in hand. I suggested a radically different set of tools and suggested he go forth and inquire. That in and of itself was enough to feel pretty good. Someone as seasoned as he asking me to brainstorm with him.

Anywho, later on that night, he came by and thanked me out loud. This solution was to a problem he had been struggling with for two months with little results to show. In the blink of an eye and a twinkling of a nose, he made significant progress and I now have the honor of having helped my colleague.

He came by just a few minutes ago to thank me again. Gee whiz - I'm gonna blush.

Anywho...suitable for framing...




*Brad: See - database, inventor of [inclusive]

Whew! Well, I got over a major hurdle with my project. I can see another big one on the horizon, so I'm not letting up quite yet. In other news, some of the work I did on another project may be in the process of getting a patent. Not only would that be neat, it may end up earning me more $$$. Speaking of work, my anti-virus just popped up, so it's my cue to go outside and do something else. I've decided to give myself every Monday evening off. Think I'll work on some other patent designs I've got in my noodle.

More to come.

Nice weekend. Relaxing and a little energizing. I had a yard sale and got rid of a whole bunch of crap. I was going to make signs that read "CRAP SALE", but I was pretty sure I'd be issued some sort of citation. Made 460 bucks in the process. Cool! I'm 5% closer to the camera I have my eye on.

I'm ranting again aren't I? Sawry.

How 'bout a nice soothing picture from my first of four trips to Monterey this year?

OPEN LETTER TO MICHAEL MOORE:

Michael Moore, you now have ten dollars of mine, and I want it back. I saw F-9/11 last night with a friend. I was expecting to be enlightened, informed and educated, but instead I was subjected to a two-hour barrage of one sided scripts, video, monologues and sound bites so choppy and short that no one could determine their context.

Oh, Mr. Moore - how you missed the point. How you missed such an opportunity to show the facts for what they were. How you - well - blew it.

I don't blame you for chastising my commander-in-chief for sitting there in a classroom full of children with no clue as to what to do after hearing the events of September 11th unfold, but did you know that the attacks were planned during the Clinton administration - with more intel and preventive opportunity available to Clinton than Bush?

I don't blame you for showing the poor, the homeless, the jobless of America and saying it's a crying shame that all these people lost their jobs, but did you know that the ressession started during the Clinton administration - with more pro-business (and therefore pro-employement) bills being passed by Bush than Clinton?

I don't blame you for saying that the war in Iraq was unfounded, but is it possible that if we had not ousted Saddam when we did, the next administration would be carried out in a bunker. Granted, I would have done things MUCH differently, but as long as we've have picked this fight - we're going to have to finish it. Like it or not, and crying over spilled milk is, well...you know the saying.

Here are two key points you missed. One, Saudi Arabia is not our friend. I've been saying that for years, but your portrayal of Bush and the Saudis as being friends (while accurate) misses the point completely. Two, you can't make a documentary with the Middle East in the focus without discussing our relationship with Israel. Well, maybe you can - because you also completely missed this.

It's complicated, and I don't pretend to know all the facts. Nobody does, and you certainly don't. The trouble seems to be that you attempted to over simplify the situation so the Democrats in America can be spoon feed what you're saying.
By the way, the Orwellian quote at the end? Here's my Orwell to English translation:

• It's not a matter of whether the war is not real, or if it is, Victory is not possible. The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous.
  
  
  • Um, that's why wars are numbered - because they end. World War I, World War II, see a pattern here? It's only recently that television anchors have found a need to give wars names like "Cold War", "Gulf War", etc... It makes for flashier headlines.
  
  
  
  
• Hierarchical society is only possible on the basis of poverty and ignorance.
  • The glass is half empty, and I don't care to focus on the part of the glass that has anything in it.
  
  
  
• This new version is the past and no different past can ever have existed.
  
  • What's past is past. Resistance is futile. All Your Base Are Belong To Us. Pick a doomsday quote.
  
  
  
• In principle the war effort is always planned to keep society on the brink of starvation.
  
  • I'm jobless and I need somebody to blame instead of myself. What's worse is that when I join the Army to make money - I'm required to be in the infantry. I can't be a cook or a clerk or anything - 'cause then I can't shoot people.
  
  
  
• The war is waged by the ruling group against its own subjects and its object is not the victory over either Eurasia or East Asia but to keep the very structure of society intact.
  
  • What part of Imperialism don't you understand? Capitalism works. Occassionally, war is used as a tool. There, I said it.
    
  
  
  As far as who I want to see in the White House next year: "Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t."

Monday Night:

I'm typing this while working on rPOD at Border's Bookstore. The man next to me has most likely gone for the evening. In his wake, he's left behind some evidence of his visit:

• 1/4 of an Italian soda
  
• 1/2 of a small glass of ice water (ice long ago melted)
  
• 4 books in a stack - top to bottom
  
  
  
  • The Gospel According to Jesus (Stephen Mitchell)
    
  • The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching
    
  • The Prophet's Way (Hartman)
    
  • The Trick to Money Is Having Some! (Stuart Wilde)
    
  
  

Tuesday Night:
Anyway, when it rains, it pours apparently. There's good news and bad news. The good news is that my water heater is leaking. The bad news? The bad news is that my water heater is in my attic - installed before the roof went on. So, yes - the water heater is what Bill Gates would call "an integral part" of my roof. I really love where I am. I mean I really love the place. I love having my own garden area - even though I haven't done anything with it (other than rake leaves). I love having a patio. I really love having my own bathroom. I love the 2 1/2 acres of private garden that I can walk around in my bathrobe in. I love the ponds and fruit trees. I love the cozy feeling I get when I curl up with a cup-o-java and light some candles and just sit and observe nature.

But it's not all rosy. There is a short list of things I don't like about it. I don't love Norway rats in the attic (gone, but not forgotten). I'm not fond of opossums, and I don't like renting because it's like money out the window.

Later that same day...

so, Marta and I spent a good hour up in the attic poking around and coming up with theories about the leak and poking around some more and talking. Sometimes we were mostly talking. Then, we went to Home Depot to window shop for a new water heater. I confessed that I'm really not a programmer - I'm really a closet I.M Pei. I told her about my education in drafting and my idea for a fourplex that looks like a house. We agreed that I need to find a creative outlet.

My current creative outlet is still programming.

# posted by Johnny @ 8/03/2004 09:59:00 PM 0 comments links to this post

O.K. Most of you don't know this, but I don't eat Snicker Bars - until now anyway, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Once upon a time when I was about 10 years old I bit into a Snickers Bar and a sharp pain shot through my head like an ice bullet. Yikes! I didn't know it at the time, but I can only guess that it was a cavity giving way to an exposed nerve or something. Anywho, that pain was enough for me to swear off Snicker Bars (or any candy bar that is the same consistency).

Wierd how something so seemingly small can be so tramatic as to shape my eating habits for the next 25 years. Well, a quarter century later I just went to the cafeteria, and there at the checkout line was an assortment of candy (Snicker Bars included). I decided to give it a second chance, and "yup" the little bar didn't even make it back to my office. Yummy!

Animals have this instinct for learning behavior. If they *almost* get hit by a car, they're shy of cars for the rest of their lives. It's a survival thing. When the same behavior moves its way to the humans - it's called phobia or neurosis. Confession: I could feel the pain in my mouth whenever I thought about eating a Snickers Bar, but the fear was mis-founded. I should've been afraid of cavities or exposed nerves.

There's a lesson to be learned here - and not just about candy or the need for regular brushing. Perhaps we act in certain ways in given situations as a reaction to the outcome of a similar situation. A degree of logic must be applied if I am to progress along the path of the upright.

Fittingly, the pictures for the day revolve around food from the cruise (will I EVER run out of cruise pictures?)


That's ice???





Watermelon





Yup, that's ice...





Cold cuts

P.S. Today, I did the kind of hard-chargin' programming that some only dream of. Bugs would dare to show their ugly pie holes and I'd whack 'em back where they belong. -j

ACK!!! It's no wonder why PU1&2 have their monitor littered with adware and spyware software. I was browsing around looking for the lyrics to Pet Shop Boy's - "You only say you love me when you're drunk" and this popped up.





Yup, it's adware/spyware warning you about adware/spyware. What have we come to? How low will salespeople stoop? Anywho, a more upbeat blog coming soon - I just wanted to vent a bit.