Plan "B"

I got official notification of my seemingly simple yet brilliant idea the the Research division is going to work on next year. It probably won't take more than one person a few months to do, but it's really exciting to see something I came up with take root and grow.

Well, I just got a call from the facilities manager for the lab. He's going to talk to the facilities manager for yet another site to see if they can use my little 10,000 line program. It'd be neat to see it spread like wildfire - if I can get all the bugs out that is.

Ahhhhhh, I feel like a bubble bath. It's finally time to relax and coast for a little while. Sure, I found some bugs and there are still features to implement, but basically - I'm done.

It's time to think about a getaway for a long weekend. Take two days off of work and just go somewhere. Soak in a hot tub, drink champagne, sleep in, order room service. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I love the end of projects. At least now I have a good chance of letting my finger nails grow back. They've been punished lately.

Where should I go? I thought about Vegas, but it's just too dang icky. How about the Pinnacles? I've always wanted to go there. Or Boise? Hmmmm, Boise.

It's the night before my last day here. Here. I spent a week in New York rolling out a product that I always thought was kinda neat but "below" the dignity of some programmers. Most programmers would look at these requirements and not even bother, but I took it as a challenge to learn and grow and help and ... well, it just needed getting done. It's a stockroom management system (unlike so many others - this one's smart).

So, I hit the ground last Monday and attempted to convert 3 sites to the new program in 5 days. I was up until 2:00 am on three of the days. One night until 11:00 pm and tonight, I'm sitting in my hotel room with a beer.

Success? Overwhelming success, but there's still work to do. My new customers are so happy to see what my program can do versus the program they had been using - one person physically jumped up and down and clapped. Thanks God, for calming me down when my brain was getting fried and I was running up against the clock.

I put in whiz-bang technology where it could be best utilized, but keep it completely out if it didn't make sense. (τεχνολογία χάριν τεχνολογία - or, technology for the sake of technology has never been my thing)

I automated and streamlined their workflow so they have about 30% less process overall. What are they going to do with all this extra time on their hands? Anyway, it felt great to see the appreciation in their eyes. It gave me a sense of accomplishment - like I somehow helped Humanity.

Sometimes you have such a great day that you want to share it with someone. Someone who can appreciate your success. Someone who knows how hard this is for me. Someone who can take the long, hard road because it might be worth it. Someone who will join in giving God all the praise, credit, honor, glory. Someone not quite, but along the lines of...

"Hello."
...
"And now I just... I don't know. But tonight, our little project, our company, had a very big night. A very, very big night. But it wasn't complete, wasn't nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn't share it..."

I had a good first day in New York. Thanks Jerry.

Don't know when I'll be back again. Off to NY for a bit. If my plane crashes, it was nice knowing you. See you on the other side.

A bunch of us piled into a limo on Sunday and went to pier 29 to see Teatro Zinzanni. I had no idea of what to expect. The entrance looks like a cross between a circus tent and a construction site. Inside, the "tent" (a spiegeltent, named Le Palais Nostalgique) was thick and rich and solid. As soon as the performance started, I knew I'd enjoy it.

Off the wall is the only way to describe it. I'd like to go again.

I got my GMail account a few days ago. I haven't had time (sound familiar?) to really break it in and annouce it to everyone. This afternoon, I logged on to it. What do I find? Yup, SPAM! That just burns me, ya' know?

The topic of marriage came up one night after work a couple of weeks ago. I haven't had time to commit it to typing for two reasons. One, I've been extraordinarily busy, but two, I had to take some time to think about it. The question was simple enough, Barbara asked if I would ever remarry. It's a simple question in terms of it being short, but it's also pretty complex. Here's what I've decided (with the proviso that my mind is allowed to be changed). Actually, it's not really me who decided it - I checked my owner's manual.

There are basic rules that are stated pretty clearly in the Bible.

Rule #1: It's best not to get married in the first place. Strike 1. There is some contradiction throughout, but the feeling I get is, unless you can't contain your urges and passion, it's best not to get married in the first place. I invite arguments to this rule, but to me it's pretty clear cut.

Rule #2: God hates divorce (except in the case of adultery). Strike 2. Had I been a stronger man, a better man, a more Godly man, I would not have allowed the divorce. But had I been all those things, there would be no call for the divorce in the first place.

Rule #3: To remarry (except as above) is to commit adultery. That would be strike 3.

I don't see violation of rule #1 as sin because like I said, there are places in the Bible which praise getting married, finding a good wife, falling in love, etc. I do however, see rule #2 as sin, but it's not sin that I committed alone. I dragged someone else into it. Sometimes I wonder how bad it must have been to take an otherwise "Woman of Ruth" and cause her to stand in front of a court of law and tell the world that we want to commit sin without recourse of counseling or prayer together first. Sometimes I wonder, but mostly I'm sorry.

So, that brings me to rule #3. What I want to do now that I have my head on straight is give glory to God and honor Him. I don't see getting married again as doing either of those things. I currently view remarriage as the selfish pursuit of happiness and not a selfless pursuit of His will (with a caveot).

Don't get me wrong. I'm not all high and mighty and "holier than thou". I have my moments. But as far as it's up to me, I'll resist complicating things any further than they need to be. Which (of course) brings me to the complicated part. Like any good list of rules, there are exceptions. Here are mine.

First, the caveot. In the interest of completeness, I begin with this scenario. How best to atone for a sin than to reverse it. To erase it. To annul the divorce. An interesting thought at the least, but not a likely scenario in reality. There would have to be significant changes for both of us in order to accomplish this, and we'd both have to be willing to put in the effort. In some respects, I'm hers to come back to since she divorced me, but I haven't put any effort into it either.

Second, and most important. Barbara and I discussed at length the "what-if" of me meeting a wonderful woman in the future. Would I ever reconsider? I responded at the time, and my answer still holds true. God allows do-overs. There is no life so wasted that you cannot wake up and decide to live it right. When that happens, your past is erased. Right now, I would see that as cheating since I'm already saved albeit backsliden in recent past. I'm recovered (awake even) and growing again. I'd have to do some serious soul searching to come to the decision to remarry on these grounds.

So this is the list of two. One is likely impossible (even for God?). The other - well, I'll let God write that chapter. Happy anniversary - 7 years today.

# posted by Johnny @ 9/05/2004 09:10:00 PM 0 comments links to this post

Gen 9:3 "Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you."

But there's a caveot...

Gen 9:6 "Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed."

O.K. that's reasonable.