Plan "B"

I took Friday off work and got an early start on Sequioa Nat'l Forest. Got to Fresno with no problem, but decided to buy tire chains just in case. It was overcast and cloudy all over the valley. A bit chilly, but not too bad. I was driving up the winding road with nobody else around. It was kinda pleasent just taking my ol' sweet time driving upstream.

Then, at about 5,000 feet, I popped through the clouds. It was a beautiful day in heaven. The sun was bright and clear and radiant heat warmed me through the windshield. It was so beautiful, that I couldn't remember what the cloudy day in Fresno looked like. The trees seemed to pop out of the clouds all over. Mountains were floating on a thin layer of atmosphere. It was inspiring. Bob Ross would be jealous.

Interesting weekend given my past month. At the last minute, Rosanna asked me if I would like to accompany her to a dating seminar at an equi-distant church. She lives in Pacifica. She had won a pair of tickets and the person she was going to bring dropped out at the last minute (day). So, I thought I'd go to get some tips on interpersonal relationships, but not anything on dating. It turned out to be a bit of an eye opener.

Until Saturday, I always thought the point of dating was to find a mate. A means to an end (marriage). Not so, said the speaker, whose name escapes me. Sometimes a date is just a date. Sometimes a date is just an opportunity to get to know someone better or to share some conversation.

That sorta blew holes in my philosophy, so I immediately rejected the notion. Then, he said something that changed my mind. He was taking questions from callers and over the Internet. One of the questions boiled down (in my mind) to, "How do you know if you're on a date?" Basically, if both people agree that they're on a date, you're on a date. Futhermore, if both of you believe that you're just dating to date with no real serious evaluation of mate selection going on, then you're on a date and you're just on a date.

The trouble in my mind had always been, "Why date? What's the point?" But I had that attitude because I thought people dated to get married. Now, I know it's much much different. Without the goal of marriage in their minds, as long as they're honest with themselves and each other, I think two people can date successfully.

Now, the other trouble is, most women my age are looking to get married and not just a free meal.

Well, it's annual review time. Everyone's scrambling around trying to get the last drop of work out of everyone else. Everyone's also making sure the scapegoat knows they are the scapegoat. Sad, really. The worst thing is that this past year in reflection has shown me stepping over others to gain a position up the corporate ladder. In my defense, I've tried and tried to motivate others to do the unpopular work, but when they just flat out refused, I had to step in.

Along with some of the gorp and mess of some of the jobs I did, there were some satisfied faces of customers. I hate being political. I hate "leveraging" something if it meant giving it away would move the cause of humanity toward a more perfect future. I'm not in it for self gratification.

I'm in it because there is code to be written, and somebody has to write it. If any of you would seek the oneness of 'codernaut', ye must deny yourself first. Pick up your keyboard and follow me. So saith the codernaut. Engage!

Yikes! Where did that come from. Well, no backspace - rememeber? MONKEYS RULE!!!

Just click on the link and zoom in until you find your house at 1/4 meter scale. Enjoy.

So it has been an interesting two weeks. Actually, it’s been an interesting month, but the second week didn’t count. I’ll try to explain. On Friday, I get this IM popup… “Can I ask you a personal question?” It was W. We’d always been very businesslike toward each other. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to”, was the next line in her message. “Sure. What’s up?” I typed back. At first, I thought it was going to be the “are you gay?” thing. Since I’m single now and talk with my hands a lot, people seem to think I’m gay. Actually, that’s probably not the reason, but I can’t be far off.

Anyway, after my “sure” response, she sent me, “What to you think about G as someone to go out with? I’m playing matchmaker.” Now, G is a nice person from what I know, but I don’t really know her well enough to vouch for her character. That’s what this is all about though isn’t it? That’s why people date; to see if they’re compatible and see what kind of person the other is.

O.K., I panicked. Although I’m sure she’s a nice person and all, I’m really not ready to open my chest cavity and expose my inner workings again. In reality (if I lived there) it was probably just dinner and a movie, but as I mentioned, I panicked.

“I don’t date”, I clicked back. Disbelief would be the most descriptive word for her response. How could anyone simply not date? Well, that brings me back to why this has been an interesting month.

So far in the past 4 weeks, including this, I’ve been asked out 3 times be women who have somehow mustered the courage to ask. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get to the point (or remain in the state) where even the most compatible woman will get passed over because I don’t think dating is a worthwhile venture.

After all, what’s the point of dating? Well, I’m sure it depends who you ask. Someone later answered saying, “ummm… sex?” Well, I guess that’s true for the rest of the people. Not me though. If I were to date, they would have to understand that I’m not dating because I think they might be “the one”. I’d just be dating to have a dance partner or to not feel awkward at a social event.

Oops! That’s the reason why one of the others asked me out recently. There was a social event, a fundraiser for something. I got an instant message, “Hi. What are you doing Saturday?” I responded with, “Nothing. Why?” At first, I thought since I had a truck, she needed something moved. That has historically been the reason why women talk to me. “There’s a gala or something on Saturday night that I want you to go with me to”, she typed. “Really?” I responded. I was trying my best at stalling. She began to pour out the details, “It’s a formal. Do you have a tux?” Well, I didn’t have a tux, and there was no way I could have gotten one on such short notice. She continued, but it started sounding like... like... she was asking me out. “Are you asking me out?” I asked. “Yes, is that so bad?” was her immediate response.

I couldn’t believe it. In this modern age, I’d heard of women asking men out, but I’d never experienced it for myself – firsthand. And to have it happen so frequently in such a short period of time, well, that was noteworthy.

-The Gold Watch-

A while ago I decided to take some of my award money and get a nice watch. You see, I'm planning on going on a lot of cruises and dining in some nice restaurants in the near future. I've been wearing the same model of Timex Ironman since - since - high school I think. That's 20 years. To be blunt, the old paint stained sports watch and plastic band does not go well with a tuxedo (the required dress of cruises).

I spent a month doing exhaustive Internet research, but always ended up in a dead end. Apparently, the watch I want doesn't exist. It needed to be as thin as possible since I have a hard time getting my sleeves over it. It needed a dial face of less than 40mm without looking like a woman's watch because my wrist is skinny. It would need to be water resistant because I didn't want to have to take it off for showers, etc.. It would also be nice to have a chronograph and alarm since I use these functions quite often on my existing watch. Understandably, there needed to be a balance between thinkness, size and functionality though. Oh, and price, but the further I dove, price seemed to matter less and less.

I had gone up as high as $3000 and still didn't see anything that I liked. [snobish, eh?] I was about to settle for a Concord Saratoga, but couldn't justify spending three grand on a watch that doesn't meet my specifications.

I wandered around the mall for about 2 hours looking in every jewelery store I could find. In the end, I settled. Since this will not be the last watch I'll ever own, I didn't spend as much as I was willing to spend, but my new Seiko is now the most expensive thing I own besides my truck. The photo on the Seiko site is horrible. It really doesn't look black and gold. It's more of a gunmetal with a hint of bronze. It looks more like this one.

-Everything-

Everything else is going pretty well. Busy at work. Busy with NaNoWriMo. Busy with family. Busy, busy, busy. Oh, and even though I can't take any credit for it, 35 people got saved in the past 5 weeks at my church. It's amazing what's going. Really. On a sadder note, my "salvation project", M, said that she only wants to visit a Christian church. She has no intention of becoming a Christian. She asks a lot of questions when she feels it's safe to do so at work. On the one side it's encouraging that she's even thinking about it, but on the other side, it's frustrating to know that there's a person drowning and I have the means of bringing her aboard, but she just wants me to describe the boat.

exerpt from NaNoWriMo:

Really. Just look at him. Picture him in full samurai regalia. It’s easy to imagine him standing silent and proud high on a mountain top with the smoke of battle blowing around him; the look of steel shooting from his dark eyes and heavy brow as he takes in his surroundings. Leaning on his sword, not for support, but with an arrogance, as a modern man would lean up against his yellow Ferrari. His legs spread to shoulder width in order to take up as much room as possible on the mountain top. A conquering smile appears on his face as he lifts his chin to the wind.

At his feet and very much out of place on this battleground, is a small and delicate sparrow. The sparrow chirps in short bursts and cuts small slivers into the silence. She dances and hops along the ground as if her feet are tied together or her legs are too short to make a full stride in the shadow of the samurai.

The samurai sees the sparrow and smiles in a more humble gesture. The sparrow, ever loyal and trusting, takes the short and familiar flight to perch on his shoulder. The samurai, confident in the totality of his power turns and walks into the fog of war.

1: Number of times I voted
0: Number of presidents I voted for
0: Number of presidential ads I witnessed
0: Number of elected officials I really care strongly about
0: On a scale from 1 to 10, how much difference did my one vote make?

Although I'm quite certain my votes were simply speed bumps to how things are going to turn out.

I did it! I read another book. Hey, that's a big step for me. I don't read that many books. They take forever and I usually don't have the attention span to finish. Anywho, I'm now a member of the Day 40 Club - for all those who have finished all 40 days.

Now, I must go vote [yikes!]

Tonight, a bunch of us are going to meet to work on NaNoWriMo. I hope I can make it. I was working on a new server all yesterday, and around 2:30 realized that all the days work had been in vain. I have to reformat and repartition the whole dang thing. [sigh]

In other news, it's currently 84 degrees in Aruba - with a high of 91.